I have to debate this phrase from Rent. For me some of my regrets are seriously part of who I am. Am I missing life? I do not think so. For me I personally feel that the phrase would be better served by saying Don't dwell on regret, or life is yours to miss.
I seriously do not think there is anyone in life that has no regrets. I think if they say so they are being dishonest with themselves. Regret is a part of life. At one time or another everyone makes the wrong choice or .... let me change that. Not makes the wrong choice but makes an alternate choice. (even that does not sound right) In life choices for most are not right or wrong. Now please do not get me wrong I am not talking about whether to kill or steal. Those are obvious rights and wrongs. I am talking about choices in life, directions. In school do I choose to major in subject A or subject B, should I go work for A company or B company, and other similar decisions.
I would venture to say that most of us at one time in our lives have wished we have chosen A over B or vice versa. I know for myself my life is littered with choices that if there were a time machine and I could change them I would. This is where I find an enigma. I am in a very good place in my life right now... and who is to say that my life would truly be any better if I had made different choices? Sure we can all spend hours fantasizing about how things would be better if we had made alternate choices. This is where I feel the dwelling part comes in. I am very guilty of spending hours, and this is not to say that there are not days that I still don't, thinking about how I wish I would have made an alternate choice. One of the epiphanies that I have had while in this potentially spiraling thinking is that, here I am happy in life and had I made any alternate choice in life would I still be as happy? Would I still be happy? Who knows hence the descriptor of spiraling. I am not saying my life is perfect by any means but I have seriously believe if I had not made the choices I would not be where I am at right now and where I am is amazing.
So here is kind of my point in this.... To forget regret we are saying lets forget the choices we make, and for me I do not think that is the ideal option. I remember my regrets so I can make more informed and knowledgeable choices going forward. Where regret can be a hindrance or an issue is when we dwell on them. Which is allowing ourselves to be come caught up in them and dragged down the shame spiral about how we should've, could've, would've. Instead I suggest to LEARN from our past and move forward in life utilizing the knowledge we have gained to make more informed decisions.
Don't dwell on regret, but instead learn from it, or life is yours to miss.
Just an opinion.
J.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Why must we all be such needy, bitchy, queens? (How do you like that label?)
Ok I understand how public figures in the likes of Anderson Cooper, Zachary Quinto, and Jodie Foster are vital assets to our fight for equal rights to be honest and open about the fact that they are homosexuals. Especially with the rash of young people killing themselves for fear of a life of constant retribution and unabashed hate. I mean it is wholly discouraging when we are in 2013 still FIGHTING for our RIGHTS. Rights that are clearly afforded to us by the Constitution of the United States with no addendum for who you are in love with. I digress the rights issue is another post for another time....
So there was major backlash headed up by obnoxiously loud homos about how Jodie Foster chose to come out. From things like she did not specifically state "I'm Gay" or "I'm a Lesbian" to how she SHOULD have stated everything.
I mean come on HAVE WE FORGOTTEN how difficult is it to come out. For a good chunk of us we are not EVEN in the public eye. So before getting all up in Jodie's grill for how she came out, lets take a moment to think about how long she has been around, how difficult it is to come out, and how significantly more difficult it is to come out to the entire world.
Yes, I am not saying that things are not somewhat easier today than 5 years ago... but Jodie is from a different era, and in that era you just kept things like that to yourself.
Does that mean that it is still easy today especially when you are a celebrity? Where the fuck do we get off thinking we DESERVE to know about any celebrities sexual orientation. In the age of paparazzi and celebrities never getting a moment of privacy it seems we have all just sort of shifted to this mindset that since any man or woman chose to be in the entertainment industry we deserve to know every aspect of their private life. I mean it is vicious, look at Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohans the latter of which is STILL not fully able to cope with a life where privacy does not exist. It takes a strong person to be able to deal with that kind of scrutiny and those people who are so extremely vocal while hiding behind aliases on the computer about how we DESERVE more information are 9 out of 10 time not the type of people who would be able to deal with that kind of lack of privacy.
So why can we not celebrate the fact that Jodie Foster as well as every other OUT AND PROUD celebrity has made the step in the ways THEY FEEL are most comfortable.
Don't think for one moment that they have it easy. Especially in a world where we have Westboro and other equally vile and hateful organizations that will do everything in their power to inflict emotional and mental harm on those in the public eye who make such a brave step.
In essence I am saying we as a gay community should NOT be bitchy, needy queens and demand that celebrities come out of the closet to our specifications. Instead lets celebrate that we now have another person on OUR side that will help us accomplish the goal of equality. REGARDLESS of how they came out. Be it on the cover of Newsweek with a "Yep I'm Gay" tagline or a simple as thanking the person they have shared a significant part of their life with.
We are all part of the same team and one day I hope that it will not even be Gay vs. Straight but one team of HUMANS. Where who we love does not matter. Yes I know that is idealistic bullshit but you know if we do not work for that then who will?
Cheers.
J.
So there was major backlash headed up by obnoxiously loud homos about how Jodie Foster chose to come out. From things like she did not specifically state "I'm Gay" or "I'm a Lesbian" to how she SHOULD have stated everything.
I mean come on HAVE WE FORGOTTEN how difficult is it to come out. For a good chunk of us we are not EVEN in the public eye. So before getting all up in Jodie's grill for how she came out, lets take a moment to think about how long she has been around, how difficult it is to come out, and how significantly more difficult it is to come out to the entire world.
Yes, I am not saying that things are not somewhat easier today than 5 years ago... but Jodie is from a different era, and in that era you just kept things like that to yourself.
Does that mean that it is still easy today especially when you are a celebrity? Where the fuck do we get off thinking we DESERVE to know about any celebrities sexual orientation. In the age of paparazzi and celebrities never getting a moment of privacy it seems we have all just sort of shifted to this mindset that since any man or woman chose to be in the entertainment industry we deserve to know every aspect of their private life. I mean it is vicious, look at Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohans the latter of which is STILL not fully able to cope with a life where privacy does not exist. It takes a strong person to be able to deal with that kind of scrutiny and those people who are so extremely vocal while hiding behind aliases on the computer about how we DESERVE more information are 9 out of 10 time not the type of people who would be able to deal with that kind of lack of privacy.
So why can we not celebrate the fact that Jodie Foster as well as every other OUT AND PROUD celebrity has made the step in the ways THEY FEEL are most comfortable.
Don't think for one moment that they have it easy. Especially in a world where we have Westboro and other equally vile and hateful organizations that will do everything in their power to inflict emotional and mental harm on those in the public eye who make such a brave step.
In essence I am saying we as a gay community should NOT be bitchy, needy queens and demand that celebrities come out of the closet to our specifications. Instead lets celebrate that we now have another person on OUR side that will help us accomplish the goal of equality. REGARDLESS of how they came out. Be it on the cover of Newsweek with a "Yep I'm Gay" tagline or a simple as thanking the person they have shared a significant part of their life with.
We are all part of the same team and one day I hope that it will not even be Gay vs. Straight but one team of HUMANS. Where who we love does not matter. Yes I know that is idealistic bullshit but you know if we do not work for that then who will?
Cheers.
J.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Has Social Media Become a Breeding Ground for Whiners??
So I am thinking to myself as I peruse my usual social media sites... Google+, Facebook, Twitter... that there seems to be a huge amount of consistent negativity on there.
Now I understand this is just my social media sites.... but I know I am not the only one who has noticed that people have chosen social media as the forum to air all their woes.
For every good thing I read about there are 10 to 12 more that are nothing but woe is me... all is wrong... life is fail.
Why is this? I do not mind posting musings or having a friendly conversation but to broadcast to the whole world that my bank account is consistently low, my health is in constant decline, I hate my job and everyone I work with.
Now do not get me wrong in the early days of the interwebz I had a very vocal presence that might even be considered what I am mentioning above but since then I realized that maybe this is not keeping my best foot forward. So I have minimized the amount of hyper-personal (not sure that is a word but it sounds fitting) information that I post. Not to mention, I would rather someone get to know me directly through me, not social media. (But that is a post for another time)
The reason is the same as my feelings about the barrage of Debbie Downers on social networking sites make me feel. I do not need nor want a constant and consistent barrage of negative to bitchslap me everyday. Since I do not want it then I should not in turn contribute to others getting said bitchslap of my own negativity.
Who knows...
Remember the blog is called MUSINGS of a Bear... as can be told this is exactly that a musing.
Now I understand this is just my social media sites.... but I know I am not the only one who has noticed that people have chosen social media as the forum to air all their woes.
For every good thing I read about there are 10 to 12 more that are nothing but woe is me... all is wrong... life is fail.
Why is this? I do not mind posting musings or having a friendly conversation but to broadcast to the whole world that my bank account is consistently low, my health is in constant decline, I hate my job and everyone I work with.
Now do not get me wrong in the early days of the interwebz I had a very vocal presence that might even be considered what I am mentioning above but since then I realized that maybe this is not keeping my best foot forward. So I have minimized the amount of hyper-personal (not sure that is a word but it sounds fitting) information that I post. Not to mention, I would rather someone get to know me directly through me, not social media. (But that is a post for another time)
The reason is the same as my feelings about the barrage of Debbie Downers on social networking sites make me feel. I do not need nor want a constant and consistent barrage of negative to bitchslap me everyday. Since I do not want it then I should not in turn contribute to others getting said bitchslap of my own negativity.
Who knows...
Remember the blog is called MUSINGS of a Bear... as can be told this is exactly that a musing.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Simple Intro
I have been wanting to get back into blogging for awhile now.....
Live Journal is essentially dead RIP.... Tumblr, is for younger people who thrive on re-blogging pictures over and over.
Twitter is too short to do any time of real blogging without exceeding your per hour tweet limit. (not sure that actually exists just something I made up) Facebook is TIRED and all my family and such are on there and sometimes I just want to say shit without the judgement of relations. Pinterest is well yeah... still unsure WTF the point is of Pinterest. I So here I am trying to use Blogger. I am not sure I will last long here or even be able to maintain a blog the way I like but this place seems to at least have all the things I require to blog.... video, pictures text and I can attach it to the Google+ social network so hopefully I can begin to grow an online group of friends again.
I say again because in the days of Live Journal it was alot of fun connecting with people and when it was in its heyday it was certainly alot of fun. I made friends and even met my husband via Live Journal. Unfortunately the community has all but disappeared, and when I attempted to open up and invite new people in the requests and such caused echos to bounce upon the all but vacated walls.
So here we are.
I know there are a few people on Google+ that I have taken off my Facebook and that is for the sheer fact that I am not really doing much in the way of Facebook anymore. So I am hoping that they will maybe migrate with me to utilize Google+ more and begin the growth of connections online.
So yeah that is why I am here... and what I hope to achieve by being here.
J.
Live Journal is essentially dead RIP.... Tumblr, is for younger people who thrive on re-blogging pictures over and over.
Twitter is too short to do any time of real blogging without exceeding your per hour tweet limit. (not sure that actually exists just something I made up) Facebook is TIRED and all my family and such are on there and sometimes I just want to say shit without the judgement of relations. Pinterest is well yeah... still unsure WTF the point is of Pinterest. I So here I am trying to use Blogger. I am not sure I will last long here or even be able to maintain a blog the way I like but this place seems to at least have all the things I require to blog.... video, pictures text and I can attach it to the Google+ social network so hopefully I can begin to grow an online group of friends again.
I say again because in the days of Live Journal it was alot of fun connecting with people and when it was in its heyday it was certainly alot of fun. I made friends and even met my husband via Live Journal. Unfortunately the community has all but disappeared, and when I attempted to open up and invite new people in the requests and such caused echos to bounce upon the all but vacated walls.
So here we are.
I know there are a few people on Google+ that I have taken off my Facebook and that is for the sheer fact that I am not really doing much in the way of Facebook anymore. So I am hoping that they will maybe migrate with me to utilize Google+ more and begin the growth of connections online.
So yeah that is why I am here... and what I hope to achieve by being here.
J.
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